


Linguini

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Holidays, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-08
Updated: 2010-09-08
Packaged: 2019-05-30 10:05:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15094481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh takes Donna to Hawaii and things don't quite go as he might hope.  Anxiety and stress make Josh unable to perform!





	Linguini

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Linguini

Rating: R for sexual content

Timeline: Post Transition

Disclaimers: I think they must belong to us by now, surely? 

Feedback: Makes us writers feel as though our efforts are read and appreciated!

Archiving: Please do not archive without permission. Text is not to be changed in any way.

 

Josh rolled over to one side of the bed and sighed. Things were NOT going to plan. He had booked a wonderfully romantic hotel on Maui and whisked Donna away for a week of sun, sex, sleep and moving forward. He raised his arm, resting his forearm against his forehead and sighed. Again.

“It’s okay Josh. It happens,” came Donna’s comforting voice as she rested her head on his chest.

Donna had been stunned and overjoyed when Josh called her a couple of days ago, babbling incoherently and in a high pitched voice about Maui, rest, time, togetherness, making it work and so on. Donna managed to interpret the broken phrases into his invitation to holiday in Maui for a week in order to a) de stress and b) spend time together as a couple. The butterflies unleashed in her stomach as Donna realised what Josh was saying were words and sentiments of mammoth proportions. Not from nerves (well, maybe a little) but from excitement. The next few hours had been a whirlwind until she slid into the seat next to him on the plane. The first day had been a bit of a blur. They had both been so tired they had slept soundly, lain by the pool and generally relaxed. But now, after a wonderfully romantic dinner on their private terrace, there was...this.

Donna continued to curl up against the man she loved. She knew she needed to tread carefully but this was not something she ever contemplated when she thought of Josh. Her fingers toyed with the hair on his chest but she felt him tense up and pull away. 

“Mind if I turn on the TV?” he asked, a little too politely for Donna’s peace of mind. He was pulling away from her and she wasn’t sure how to bridge the distance.

“No, I guess not. But please? No CNN. I need a mental break from news.”

Josh’s laugh sounded forced. “Okay – something light?”

“Perfect,” murmured Donna she snuggled under the covers.

Josh channel surfed until he found reruns of Friends. He moved to sit on the end of the bed until Donna raised the covers and patted the mattress alongside of her.

“C’mon Josh. I promise not to seduce you,” she said with a small smile.

Josh ran his hand through his hair and gave himself a stern talking to. He could lie in bed with Donna **with Donna** he repeated just for the pleasure of it, and enjoy holding her while they watched TV. Nothing more, nothing less. Just the type of thing any guy might do with his woman. It would all be fine.

After watching 4 episodes, Donna hoped enough time had passed. With a sly look out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of the rumpled man who could still stop her heart. The disheveledness wasn’t new but seeing him next to her in bed, shirtless was a whole new ballgame. Who knew she’d love ball sports so much? Donna’s quiet chuckling drew Josh’s attention.

“What?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking how nice this is,” she whispered into his ear.

Without thinking, he responded my tipping his head a little sideways, allowing her better access. As her tongue began to trace an outline of his ear, he couldn’t prevent a moan from emanating. Encouraged, Donna traced a path down his neck and chest. Using her mouth and tongue she began to caress him in a way that could only lead to one thing. Josh, overwhelmed by the sensation she was causing flipped her onto her back and began to reciprocate. He soon had her divested of her tank top and began sucking at her nipple while one hand snuck down to caress her between her legs. Donna’s moans encouraged him further but there was a problem. The same problem as earlier that evening. Houston, there was no lift off. The more he tried to lose himself in sensation, the less likelihood there was of the necessary part responding. 

As Donna tried to reach inside his boxers, he batted her hand away. He was mortified this was happening. He had already disappointed her once this evening. Damned if he was going to let her down again. So he whispered “This time it’s about you,” and looked her steadily in the eyes. Somehow she knew what he was saying and although she was concerned for him, she wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to have Josh use his mouth in a way she had only ever dreamed. In the few times they’d had sex, this was something they’d yet to explore. So Josh seeking permission to head south was all the more sweet.

Donna gave herself up to the sensation of Josh’s mouth, tongue and fingers exploring and pleasuring her. As one hand grasped his head and the other clutched the sheet, the intensity of the orgasm left her languid. As he lifted his head she was greeting with his trademark smirk.

“Well, at least I can get that bit right,” he thought as he kissed her soundly.

“My turn,” Donna said softly as she again tried to reach inside his boxers. She was surprised that after what he’d just done to her, he felt limp in her hand. Other men she’d been with found pleasuring her to be quite the aphrodisiac and needed little to continue. She looked up into his eyes, confused.

Josh recoiled in horror and jumped from the bed. This just couldn’t be happening to him. Not now. Not here. He needed to step back, regroup. He’d be fine. Oh who was he kidding? He wasn’t fine!

“Donna, I want to...you know I do...but the ...it’s not...I can’t...oh God!” he spluttered as he took refuge in the bathroom.

Josh put the seat of the toilet down and slumped on it. As he relived the mortification of his impotence, his eyes rested on his cell phone, charging on the bench. Reaching for it, he pressed 3 on his programmed numbers and waited.

“Sorry if woke you. Were you up?” Josh asked his best friend.

“No, early morning meeting so I’m already up,’ Sam replied.

“Well, I’m not,” Josh said and cringed at the frat boy humour.

“Josh, I’m talking to you so of course you are up,” Sam commented dryly.

“I don’t mean like that. I mean… oh never mind,” his voice trailed off.“It’s just this holiday was supposed to be perfect and things aren’t quite going as I’d hoped.”

As Sam heard Josh mumble the last part, he replayed the opening exchange. Suddenly, Sam began to see things a little differently.

“Josh, what’s wrong?”

Josh sighed. Sam was his best friend and he needed to talk to someone about this but it was also something he felt uncomfortable opening up about. 

“It’s just that…I’m having some trouble…”

“In the bedroom,” Sam supplied helpfully.

“Yeah,” Josh admitted.

 

“It happens to every guy at some point.”

“Has it happened to you?”

“No.”

“Sam?”

“Okay, once but I was under a lot of stress at the time. But you’re on vacation. There isn’t supposed to be any stress.”

“I know! “

“I’m guessing this is a new problem? Things have worked as they should before?”

“Yeah, no complaints from either of us.”

“So what’s changed? Surely if you were going to be unable to…you know… it would have happened during the campaign.”

“Or on our first time together. Nothing like 9 years of build up to create a sense of pressure.”  
“Exactly. So what’s changed?”

Josh took a deep breath. He had actually given this some thought but now to actually say it out loud, to another guy was proving to be difficult.

“When Donna and I first…you know.”

“Yep, got it Josh. Don’t need the visual.”

“Well, there was no problem. I mean I was just happy it was happening.”

“I think we all were Josh!”

“Then back in DC, it was great.”

“C’mon Josh. Think. Why now are you unable to…you know…”

“Because now there is more at stake. Now it is decision time. Is this going somewhere or not? What if it isn’t what Donna wants? What if …what if she doesn’t want anything more than a fling?” Josh’s voiced faded away.

Sam smiled to himself. He loved Josh like a brother but sometime he needed a kick up the ass.

“Josh, you need to talk to her. No wonder things aren’t happening for you. You have put yourself under so much pressure, you can’t think straight. Talk to her. Tell how you feel and what you want. I would be shocked if you aren’t both on the same page. But as long as you are worried this is a fling, you’re subconsciously protecting yourself by not allowing yourself to get physical close to her.”

“God Sam, you’ve spent too long in California, you know that?”

“Maybe but I’m engaged to a wonderful woman and you’re hiding in the bathroom!”

“Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Hey buddy. You called me, remember?”

“I know. Thanks.” Josh cut the connection and sat holding the phone in his hand. He knew Sam was right. Having to articulate his fears and hearing Sam’s advice was all he needed to propel him through the door.  
But the sight of Donna reclining against the pillows filled him with such emotion, he suddenly could only stare at her. Donna’s eyes flicked to him before returning to the TV screen.

“Josh, don’t just stand there. Come back to bed,” she said calmly.

Josh padded across the tiled floor but sat on the top of the covers. He reached for her hand, entwining their fingers together. Donna looked up at him, puzzled.

“What is it?” She was concerned for him. Not just for his inability to perform in the bedroom but for all the stress he had been under and a worry that she was somehow contributing to it further.

The pained look on his face confirmed to her that he was finding this incredibly difficult. Josh may care for his friends and family but he was not comfortable expressing it. Nor was he comfortable talking about his problems. He’d rather hide his insecurities behind humour. She also knew the only time he would act was if he was backed into a corner so Donna decided it was time to push him there.

“This is too much, isn’t it? You’re regretting asking me to come with you? I put too much pressure on you. Do you want me to go? Should I get another room?” Her drama major could come in very handy, she thought as she allowed a panicked tone to creep into her voice.

Josh’s head shot up. “What? God, no! Is that what you were thinking? That I wanted to put an end to this?”

“Josh, I don’t know what to think. You are obviously feeling the pressure but you won’t talk to me.”

Josh looked up into Donna’s blue eyes. She was looking at him with a mix of love and fear. The thought he had put that fear there was too much to bear. He would never consciously hurt her. Taking a deep breath, he proceeded to tell her everything. The wonder of being with her, the fear that what he’d wanted for so long was never going to eventuate, the fear that now it had happened it wouldn’t last, the fear that she didn’t want what he wanted.  
Donna remained silent, allowing him to speak freely. She would occasionally squeeze his hand for support but otherwise, the floor was his. Until he got to the last confession.

“Josh, we need to be honest with each other. That isn’t always easy. We’re navigating our way through new boundaries. I’m not going to pretend I’ve found it easy. But I need to know what you’re thinking.”

He looked up at her. He could stare down congressmen, senators, lobbyists and aides. But when it came to telling Donna what he wanted from their relationship, his mouth dried up.

“I want to…I need to..what is..’ his voice trailed off.

“Would it help if I went first?” Donna offered.

“Oh God, yes!” he practically shouted in relief.

“You want to know if we both want the same thing from this relationship. Is that what has been bothering you?”

Josh nodded. He felt so foolish.

“I need to know. If this is just a fling for you, I need to know. All this not knowing is making me unable to…”

Donna looked at the rumpled, middle aged man with the receding hairline who sat before her. It was humbling to see the way “Bartlet’s Bulldog’ was so vulnerable in the face of their undefined relationship. Her heart swelled with love for this man who had been her champion and biggest supporter.

She reached to pull him to her, resting her head on his shoulder as she whispered in his ear, “I want you. That’s all. I want you. I want to be there when you come home and be there when you wake up. I want to raise a family with you. I want to look in a photo album years from now and see our scrapbooked faces staring out at us. I want to grow old with you and be waking next to you when you’re 80. This may all sound like a cliché but it is what I want. I love you Josh. This isn’t a fling. This is the real thing.’

Josh pulled back and swept the hair back off her face as he cradled it with such gentleness. He lightly kissed her lips and then whispered in her ear, “Thank God!”  
Donna laughed and looked at him “You don’t get out of saying what you feel, you know.”

“Can I just say I love you and leave it at that?”

Donna’s smile lit up the room. That was the first time he’d told her he loved her. “Yes, that’ll do.”

Josh felt relief wash over him. They were on the same page after all. All that anxiety was for nothing. They both were in this for the long haul and both wanted the same things from this relationship. Leaning forward, he kissed her passionately. She fell back onto the pillows, bringing him with her. As the passion intensified, Donna became aware that Josh had divested her of her clothes and that the very welcome sensation of Josh’s erection pressed against proved that everything was going to be fine.

As the evening progressed, Josh showed her time and again, just how fine he was.


End file.
